Posting bad news is no easy task. By doing this at the wrong time or in an incorrect way, you can exacerbate an already difficult situation. Therefore, it is very important to learn how to do it correctly. The
real difficulty (in addition to the content of the news) lies in the
fact that in this situation it is not only bad for the person who
reports the bad news, but also for the person who listens to it. This
article will tell you how to properly communicate bad news so that both
sides of an unpleasant situation can cope with what happened.
Word choice
Learn to cope with your own reaction. Before you send someone a message, you need to try to cope with their feelings and emotions that may arise as a result of what happened. Bad news can also affect you. Although the event may not concern you or your relative, the bad news can deprive you of calm. Therefore, it is very important to calm down and put your thoughts and feelings in order before reporting something else to someone else.
To calm down, you can drink a cup of coffee, take a shower, meditate or practice deep breathing techniques for a few minutes. You can also sit quietly in a quiet dark place to calm down and collect your thoughts. After you overcome the state of shock, you will not experience strong fear, not knowing how to properly inform others about what happened. However, it will certainly not be so easy.Prepare the right words
Before reporting bad news, you should think about its content. Speak about what happened very carefully. The person to whom you are reporting bad news must clearly understand what happened. Speak specifically about what happened. Do not beat around the bush. It will be easier for a person if you tell him about what happened right away, and you will not try to tell the news when entering from afar. Tell us about what happened. Look man in the eye and tell about what happened.
Practice what you are going to say in order to find the right words and correctly formulate the phrases. However, be prepared to change your “script”. Be flexible. Observe the human response and, if necessary, make the necessary changes. Much influences how you report bad news. For example, your relationship with a person or the content of the news largely determines how you present it to another.
If an accident has occurred and someone has died, say directly, but gently: “I am very sorry that I have to tell you about it, but Misha got into a terrible car accident.”
Give a person the opportunity to cope with their emotions. After he is ready, he will most likely ask: "What happened?" Or "What is wrong with him?" You can answer this question directly: "I am very sorry, but he died."
If you’ve lost your job, you can say: “I’m sorry, but the company I work for has gone bankrupt.” Then you can continue: “And, unfortunately, I was fired.”
Context selection
Consider whether it is for you to report the bad news. If you just happen to find out about what happened and barely know people who are directly concerned with what happened, you may not need to pass on the bad news. However, if you are the sister of a woman who is hospitalized, your task is to communicate this bad news to other relatives.
Do not publish personal or confidential information on social networks, just because you own it. If the news is related to death or another serious incident, report it to relatives and friends before disseminating information to the masses.
Choose a calm and private place. It is not necessary to report bad news in a public place where a person will not have the opportunity to just sit down to cope with the first reaction to grief. Therefore, choose a place where a person can sit down and realize what happened. In addition, choose a place where none of the outsiders will interfere in your conversation. Follow the tips below when you are reporting bad news:
Turn off all electronic devices such as TV, radio, player, and so on.
Slide the curtains or lower the blinds to give more privacy. However, do not close the curtains completely if it is daytime. The room should not be too dark.Close the door so that no one will disturb you during the conversation. If you think that it will be difficult for you to tell yourself what happened, ask a family member or friend to accompany you.
Choose the right time if possible. In some cases, waiting is impossible, and it is better to report the news as soon as possible before rumors begin to spread. However, if the situation is not critical, postpone the message of unpleasant news until the moment when the other person is ready to accept them and has free time.
If a person has just crossed the threshold of an apartment or house, after returning from work or school, believe me, this will not be the best time to report bad news. Although there is no suitable time for reporting bad news, in some situations it is better to wait for a more suitable moment.
If you need to communicate important and urgent news, take a deep breath and say directly about what happened: “Zhenya, I need to talk to you. This conversation does not tolerate delay. "
Of course, in some situations, you can tell the urgent news by phone. But still, it is better to ask the person to whom you will be sending the news if you can meet him in person to tell about what happened. If this is not possible or if you need to urgently tell about what happened, ask the person to sit down, as you are going to tell him something unpleasant. If you are worried that it will be difficult for a person to cope with his emotions without help, ask him if there is anyone next to him who can support him.
Think about how a person might react to the bad news. Also find out if he has already heard about what happened. If so, don't repeat the bad news again. It is very important to choose the right words and the appropriate approach in order to offend a person’s feelings as little as possible.
Pay attention to whether a person has suspicions, for example, a bad feeling, fear, anxiety, anxiety. Also think about how unexpected the news you said (for example, the death in a car accident) or something inevitable (for example, the ineffectiveness of cancer treatment) will be for a person.
Also think about the content of the bad news. How bad is it? You need to say about the death of a pet or that you lost your job? Or does the news concern the death of a relative or friend? If the bad news is directly related to you (for example, you have lost your job), the person’s reaction will be different compared to that if it concerns him (for example, his cat has died).
Correct bad news post
Hint to the person that a nuisance has happened before going to the heart of the matter. This will help the person to prepare for the news. Although, as mentioned above, it is necessary to go straight to the heart of the matter, and not to beat around the bush, you should not talk to the person about what happened without giving him time to tune in to the perception of your words.
You can say: "I have to tell you very sad news," "I just got a call from the hospital: an accident happened and ..."; or "I just talked with your doctor and ...", "It is very difficult for me to talk about it, but ..." or "Unfortunately, I have bad news for you ..." and so on.
Offer help to a person if necessary. When talking about what happened, respond to emotions. If you want to learn how to communicate bad news correctly, it is important for you to pay attention to the emotions of another person.
Establish a link between understanding the emotion and the reason it originated. In response to a person’s response, say, "This is really terrible," or "I see that you are really upset about what happened."
Thanks to this, a person will see that you understand his feelings, the pain he feels, and at the same time you are not trying to make any assessments, assumptions or to diminish the significance of a person’s emotions. ”
Be prepared for the fact that a person can answer you with silence. Not everyone asks questions or says something after learning about something bad. Some may experience a real shock. It may take time for a person to realize what happened. If a person is silent, hug him and sit next to him, thereby expressing sympathy
Consoling a person, remember the social and cultural rules of behavior, so as not to aggravate the situation.
Decide what to do next. When you tell a person bad news, you need to know how to proceed. If a person is busy with something, it will be easier for him to cope with the state of shock. Therefore, do everything possible so that a person does not sit and grieve. He can do something, solve some issues or lead something. Help the person cope with their emotions. If a person’s loved one has died, how can you help him deal with his emotions? If a pet has died, what can you do to help the owner honor his memory? If a person has lost his job, how can you help him in this situation?
Give practical help, for example, offer to take a person to the hospital, help collect things, find a good psychologist or psychotherapist, call the police or give any other help you need.Make a clear plan of your actions, especially if you somehow relate to what happened. For example, if you are a doctor who needs to inform the patient that the chosen treatment has proven ineffective, develop a further treatment plan. Tell the person that you will help him at any time, if necessary, and also follow the dynamics of the disease.If you have promised to do something, be sure to keep your promises.Take time if the person needs your help. In addition, if you see that a person needs to cry, be near him.
Word choice
Learn to cope with your own reaction. Before you send someone a message, you need to try to cope with their feelings and emotions that may arise as a result of what happened. Bad news can also affect you. Although the event may not concern you or your relative, the bad news can deprive you of calm. Therefore, it is very important to calm down and put your thoughts and feelings in order before reporting something else to someone else.
To calm down, you can drink a cup of coffee, take a shower, meditate or practice deep breathing techniques for a few minutes. You can also sit quietly in a quiet dark place to calm down and collect your thoughts. After you overcome the state of shock, you will not experience strong fear, not knowing how to properly inform others about what happened. However, it will certainly not be so easy.Prepare the right words
Before reporting bad news, you should think about its content. Speak about what happened very carefully. The person to whom you are reporting bad news must clearly understand what happened. Speak specifically about what happened. Do not beat around the bush. It will be easier for a person if you tell him about what happened right away, and you will not try to tell the news when entering from afar. Tell us about what happened. Look man in the eye and tell about what happened.
Practice what you are going to say in order to find the right words and correctly formulate the phrases. However, be prepared to change your “script”. Be flexible. Observe the human response and, if necessary, make the necessary changes. Much influences how you report bad news. For example, your relationship with a person or the content of the news largely determines how you present it to another.
If an accident has occurred and someone has died, say directly, but gently: “I am very sorry that I have to tell you about it, but Misha got into a terrible car accident.”
Give a person the opportunity to cope with their emotions. After he is ready, he will most likely ask: "What happened?" Or "What is wrong with him?" You can answer this question directly: "I am very sorry, but he died."
If you’ve lost your job, you can say: “I’m sorry, but the company I work for has gone bankrupt.” Then you can continue: “And, unfortunately, I was fired.”
Context selection
Consider whether it is for you to report the bad news. If you just happen to find out about what happened and barely know people who are directly concerned with what happened, you may not need to pass on the bad news. However, if you are the sister of a woman who is hospitalized, your task is to communicate this bad news to other relatives.
Do not publish personal or confidential information on social networks, just because you own it. If the news is related to death or another serious incident, report it to relatives and friends before disseminating information to the masses.
Choose a calm and private place. It is not necessary to report bad news in a public place where a person will not have the opportunity to just sit down to cope with the first reaction to grief. Therefore, choose a place where a person can sit down and realize what happened. In addition, choose a place where none of the outsiders will interfere in your conversation. Follow the tips below when you are reporting bad news:
Turn off all electronic devices such as TV, radio, player, and so on.
Slide the curtains or lower the blinds to give more privacy. However, do not close the curtains completely if it is daytime. The room should not be too dark.Close the door so that no one will disturb you during the conversation. If you think that it will be difficult for you to tell yourself what happened, ask a family member or friend to accompany you.
Choose the right time if possible. In some cases, waiting is impossible, and it is better to report the news as soon as possible before rumors begin to spread. However, if the situation is not critical, postpone the message of unpleasant news until the moment when the other person is ready to accept them and has free time.
If a person has just crossed the threshold of an apartment or house, after returning from work or school, believe me, this will not be the best time to report bad news. Although there is no suitable time for reporting bad news, in some situations it is better to wait for a more suitable moment.
If you need to communicate important and urgent news, take a deep breath and say directly about what happened: “Zhenya, I need to talk to you. This conversation does not tolerate delay. "
Of course, in some situations, you can tell the urgent news by phone. But still, it is better to ask the person to whom you will be sending the news if you can meet him in person to tell about what happened. If this is not possible or if you need to urgently tell about what happened, ask the person to sit down, as you are going to tell him something unpleasant. If you are worried that it will be difficult for a person to cope with his emotions without help, ask him if there is anyone next to him who can support him.
Think about how a person might react to the bad news. Also find out if he has already heard about what happened. If so, don't repeat the bad news again. It is very important to choose the right words and the appropriate approach in order to offend a person’s feelings as little as possible.
Pay attention to whether a person has suspicions, for example, a bad feeling, fear, anxiety, anxiety. Also think about how unexpected the news you said (for example, the death in a car accident) or something inevitable (for example, the ineffectiveness of cancer treatment) will be for a person.
Also think about the content of the bad news. How bad is it? You need to say about the death of a pet or that you lost your job? Or does the news concern the death of a relative or friend? If the bad news is directly related to you (for example, you have lost your job), the person’s reaction will be different compared to that if it concerns him (for example, his cat has died).
Correct bad news post
Hint to the person that a nuisance has happened before going to the heart of the matter. This will help the person to prepare for the news. Although, as mentioned above, it is necessary to go straight to the heart of the matter, and not to beat around the bush, you should not talk to the person about what happened without giving him time to tune in to the perception of your words.
You can say: "I have to tell you very sad news," "I just got a call from the hospital: an accident happened and ..."; or "I just talked with your doctor and ...", "It is very difficult for me to talk about it, but ..." or "Unfortunately, I have bad news for you ..." and so on.
Offer help to a person if necessary. When talking about what happened, respond to emotions. If you want to learn how to communicate bad news correctly, it is important for you to pay attention to the emotions of another person.
Establish a link between understanding the emotion and the reason it originated. In response to a person’s response, say, "This is really terrible," or "I see that you are really upset about what happened."
Thanks to this, a person will see that you understand his feelings, the pain he feels, and at the same time you are not trying to make any assessments, assumptions or to diminish the significance of a person’s emotions. ”
Be prepared for the fact that a person can answer you with silence. Not everyone asks questions or says something after learning about something bad. Some may experience a real shock. It may take time for a person to realize what happened. If a person is silent, hug him and sit next to him, thereby expressing sympathy
Consoling a person, remember the social and cultural rules of behavior, so as not to aggravate the situation.
Decide what to do next. When you tell a person bad news, you need to know how to proceed. If a person is busy with something, it will be easier for him to cope with the state of shock. Therefore, do everything possible so that a person does not sit and grieve. He can do something, solve some issues or lead something. Help the person cope with their emotions. If a person’s loved one has died, how can you help him deal with his emotions? If a pet has died, what can you do to help the owner honor his memory? If a person has lost his job, how can you help him in this situation?
Give practical help, for example, offer to take a person to the hospital, help collect things, find a good psychologist or psychotherapist, call the police or give any other help you need.Make a clear plan of your actions, especially if you somehow relate to what happened. For example, if you are a doctor who needs to inform the patient that the chosen treatment has proven ineffective, develop a further treatment plan. Tell the person that you will help him at any time, if necessary, and also follow the dynamics of the disease.If you have promised to do something, be sure to keep your promises.Take time if the person needs your help. In addition, if you see that a person needs to cry, be near him.
No comments:
Post a Comment